I need to marry someone hot so our children will have a 50/50 chance of being hot
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself.
I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re a angry serial killer
bad people shouldnt be allowed to have clear skin or good hair or nice jaw lines or green eyes
This one looks like a scanner
This one poaches eggs too
Fucking hamster wheels
This ones see through
This one hangs on the fucking wall
It’s like a flower
Hand held toaster
Need a reminder? write it on your toast
Old school like the old school
WERE LOSING HIM SIR NOT ON MY WATCH
Now you know todays weather
i didn’t realize that a toaster fandom actually existed. this is beautiful.